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Religion/ Festivals and Spirituality

Are you giving without expectation ?

How-can-i-help

Helping behavior refers to voluntary actions intended to help or benefit others, with reward regarded or dis-regarded. It is a type of pro-social behavior ( voluntary action intended to help or benefit another individual or group of individuals, such as sharing, comforting, rescuing and helping). It is not Altruism ! Altruism is different from helping behavior. Altruism refers to behaviors that are carried out without expectation of obtaining external reward (concrete reward or social reward ) or internal reward (self-reward). Altruistic are truly self-less and ‘selflessness’ remains the mode or center of action for them.

‘Helping others’ – comes from empathy and that feeling has to come from within oneself, without being compelled to do so. More so, that should be done without any expectation from the one who is benefited by your help. Expectations create barriers of communication and unhappiness for both – the giver as well as the receiver. Most of us are designed to help others due to the intrinsic divinity within us. At the same time, many do not want to help due to their self-acquired limitations ! Yes, I do agree we can help others only within our limits or our capabilities. I do not think anyone can or even will help others beyond his or her means. Doing something like that would be termed as foolish ! Selfless thoughts or behavior and living only for the sake of others are quite different from each other.

I get happiness by helping others based on the requirements as well as worthiness of the receiver. It is generally done through expressed concern or giving ‘sought’ advice from me, or a companionship extended or by experiencing physical strain that the beneficiary cannot undergo himself. Sometimes I help others with money ! Basically, I do not stop myself from doing any good that I am capable of doing so. Let me share some wonderful good quotes on ‘helping others’ for your reading and understanding –

“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.”
― Barack Obama

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”
― Charles Dickens

“No one has ever become poor by giving.”
― Anne Frank, diary of Anne Frank

“He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.”
― Abraham Lincoln

“Love is not patronizing and charity isn’t about pity, it is about love. Charity and love are the same — with charity you give love, so don’t just give money but reach out your hand instead.”
― Mother Teresa, A Simple Path: Mother Teresa

‘Giving’ really brings joy into our lives. Day before yesterday, I got the privilege of helping an aged person, nearing to be 70 years old – by carrying his heavy suitcase from the same local train we traveled together from Thane to Santacruz, where I alighted ( while he was heading to Malad).. Though it is a small act, I helped him cross the foot over-bridge at crowded Dadar station, by carrying his heavy suitcase. More than that, I did not find it necessary to ask him what his name is…but I spent time ‘merrily’ chatting with him throughout the ride of 30-45 minutes. I do this all the time … helping the old, or just spending time with them whenever I can to do so ; or buying lunch for the orphan ‘begging’ kids at the railway stations whenever I can ; or helping the blind person to get into the right bus and wait along with him for his right bus to arrive at the bus-stop !

The idea of sharing these thoughts with you is not to earn brownie points from you ! I am happy to share this and I know probably you may be doing the same what I do. Or you will start doing what I do, after reading this. And you would be happier !! Ain’t this not a good thought to share with others ? Am I not changing the world, one person at a time ? I do that in my profession as a management consultant – helping youngsters build their careers ; training participants to excel in sales, behavior, communications or leadership ; helping small businesses make profits or even break-even in their business activity ! 🙂

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About Raman Ramamurthy

I am a Management consultant, an avid reader, play Lawn tennis in my leisure time and love Music. Presently, I am settled in India along with my wife and my son.

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